Your marriage is coming to an end and life as you know it has been tipped upside down and if there are children involved in can be a tough emotional journey. A divorce doesn’t have to escalate to a messy court battle however – here are our top 6 tips so coming out the other side ok.
No matter how your divorce proceeds, it is important you understand the legal process as well as the changes that divorce is going to have on your life. To gain the best possible outcome you probably need to have a reliable and knowledgeable lawyer on your side to guide you through the process.
Below are a few survival tips to assist you through this difficult time:
Don’t rush your decisions when getting a divorce
This seems fairly obvious however when going through a divorce, emotions are heightened and you may forget to consider what the impacts of decisions are likely to be far into the future. There are many important decisions that you will be required to make that may impact you and your children for the rest of your life. Make sure you take the time to think about, and hopefully talk through, every decision thoroughly with your lawyer.
No one “wins” in a divorce
Make sure you have realistic expectations. Do not go into your divorce thinking that you are going to win and beat your partner! In our experience it is very rare in a divorce that we see a person walk away getting everything they wanted. It is much more likely that you will have to compromise and work through a bargaining process to get the outcome you want.
Every divorce is different
When going through a divorce, it is very common for well meaning friends and relatives to offer their opinion and advice, especially if they have been through a divorce themselves. It is important to make sure you only take the advice of your lawyer during this process and not put too much belief in what other people say about their divorce. Every divorce is different just as people are different and when there are children and property in question you need to make sure you have the correct advice to suit your particular situation.
Be honest with your lawyer
Your lawyer is there to help you get the best outcome possible from the divorce and they can’t do this if you don’t give them the full and correct story. Your lawyer will have a difficult time fighting for your rights if you do not provide them with all the correct information. When your lawyer has the correct information about your situation they can then advise you on your rights and give you the most appropriate advice to get the best outcome possible. During a divorce proceeding facts have a funny way of revealing themselves and it is really not in your interest to lie or try to hide anything. When the true facts are discovered this may make you and your lawyer look bad to the other party and the outcome may go against you.
Get a Lawyer you feel comfortable with
There is no point pretending that getting a divorce will be easy and the legal implications of some of your decisions will have a big impact on your life. You will have to tell your lawyer allot of information about your life so make sure you feel comfortable talking to them. Your lawyer will be the one who will advises you on your rights and the likely outcome of your divorce so it is also important to get a lawyer with some years of experience. Having a lawyer with experience means you can be confident that they will have the knowledge and skills to get the best outcome possible for you.
Focus on the Future
Remember that many people have gone through a divorce and survived and things will get better over time. Of course, going through a divorce is a tough process however once the legal part is over you will be able to move on and look forward to making positive changes in your life.
You may be really suffering at the moment but life does go on. To get through the process, it can help to organize some special activities in the near future so you have something to look forward to when it is all over. Planning these special activities may also be a welcome distraction from the tough situation you are in.